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The following story has been published in 'The Voice' by the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence www.ncadv.org

(contains graphic language)

I turned around and he was there. I knew before I stopped sweeping. I slowly looked back and turned, taking small steps around until I was facing him. Even though the beating and threats were months behind me, I was still terrified. I never knew what he would do.
One thing I was certain of, I was not safe from him at work.
I guess I should back up some. I left my husband (now my ex-husband) months before. I was working in a bar and grill. On this night I was closing the bar. I had a couple of regulars sitting at the bar talking to me as I worked. They came in often. Mike, Tom and I talked a lot, they knew I was an abused wife. I knew Mike was divorced and Tom was widowed.
Jimmy, my ex-husband, just stood there staring at me. I had cold chills raising the hair on my arms and neck. I said, "You need to leave." Jimmy replied, "I saw your car, I want you to come home." Then he turned and walked out without another word. I must have looked just as I felt, like I was going to pass out. Mike came around the bar and said, "That was Jimmy, wasn't it?" I answered, "Yes, he is such a freak. That scared the hell out of me."
Mike was good friends with the owner. He and Tom were there until close most nights. I was really thankful they were there that night. Mike told me to sit, he was going to fix me a drink. I started to say no. When he handed me the shot of tequila, I drank it. Tom laughed, trying to change the mood and said, "I knew you would not pass up a shot!" I was starting to laugh when the phone rang. I knew who it was. Mike said I didn't need to answer it. I was scared he would come back if I didn't. I answered the phone, "Hello," not Sammy's, the name of the place. Jimmy said, "You knew it was me. See we are still connected. You need to stop this bullshit and come home." I hung up. Mike and Tom walked me to my car. Jimmy was no where in sight.
The next day I told my manager I needed to talk to her. We went to sit and her husband joined us. There was something about Terry (her husband), but she had never confirmed anything. She knew I had been beaten up. Sometimes knowing helps people to talk, sometimes not.
I told Janet that I did not know if I could keep working for her since Jimmy knew I was there. She said she understood, and would make sure I was not there by myself, ever. I told her thanks, but Jimmy was a loose cannon and I did not want to risk anyone else if he went off.
Terry ask what the problem was. I told him about the abuse in my marriage. Terry then confirmed what I thought about him. He said, "Well, you're probably like most bitches and don't know when to shut your mouth." Before I could respond, he added, "Or were you messing around on him?" Then he looked at Janet and said, "You know what will happen if you ever mouth off to me don't you, baby?" He patted her cheek, smiled that evil abuser smile, and walked off. I asked her how long he had been hitting her. She lowered her head. I told her she has nothing to be ashamed of. He is the one with the problem, not you.
Two weeks later I would see first-hand what a bastard Janet was married to. I decided to stay since she promised Mike or Tom would stay to walk me out. We were all in there the night Terry showed up. Unlike Jimmy, Terry would usually be drunk when he became violent. He was this night. He had been out playing poker with some friends, and did not do well. Janet was so pissed. She told him that was all the money they had until she was paid later in the week. She brought up the fact he was not working. This really made Terry hot. He was in her face, "You fucking cunt. Don’t talk about me like I mooch off you. How many times have I worked while you sat on your ass."
Janet told him they needed to go in her office and talk. He grabbed her hand and yanked her along with him. The door slammed shut. I swear it shook the windows twenty feet away. We could all hear them arguing. Then we heard Janet yell for him to stop pushing her. There was a loud thud, Janet was screaming. Over and over we heard, stop kicking me Terry.
Tom was closest to the office door. He went over and tried to open it. Of course, it was locked. Tom then yelled at Terry to stop and let Janet out. Terry told Tom to go fuck himself. I yelled that I was calling the cops. That office door flew open. Terry came running out, straight at me. He said, "Call the cops, you fuckin' bitch. See what happens before they can get here." That is when Janet came out.
She was dragging her right leg. I mean dragging, her foot turned out to the side. I thought it was broke. She ask me to not call the cops. Tom was trying to look at her leg. Janet was trying to sit and hold her torn shirt together. She was not doing either one very well. Terry told me this was all my fault. If I had not been telling her about Jimmy she would have never talked back to him. Mike told him he needed to go home. Janet agreed with Mike.
That is when Terry walked over and slapped her. She fell out of the chair she had just sat in. Tom was not close enough to catch her. While she was on the floor, he gave her a good kick in that messed up leg. Tom hit him then. Mike told me to call the cops. I told him I could not find the damn phone. I heard Terry say, "Here it is, you bitch," as it flew past my face. When I picked it up, it was broke. My cell was in the office. I would have to go past Terry to get it. Mike used his cell instead.
While Mike was on the phone, Tom was helping Janet to upright her over-turned chair. This is when that bastard Terry ran for the door. I grabbed the door key from the register and locked the door behind him. We all were looking Janet over when the cops got there. After they took our statements, I left with Mike. It was one of the many times after I had left Jimmy that I wanted to be held, protected.
I went back for my car the next morning. Janet had called in, I don't know where she spent the night. I never asked. Sammy was there. I told him I was very sorry, but I would not be back in. I did not know what Terry would do, and my ex-husband knew I was working there anyway. I just did not feel safe. He was very understanding. I always liked Sammy.
I did not talk to Janet again until I went in to get my check. She told me she had left Terry for good. We said we would keep in touch.
A couple of weeks later I learned I had been turned down for unemployment. They stated there was no reason for me to have quit my job. I appealed it. Three times I appealed their decision. I had to go to hearings. Give my testimony over and over. They would record me, ask me questions, looking at me like I was lazy and just wanted to lay around the house.
I could not convince these people how terrified I was. I had been diagnosed with Battered Wife Syndrome. My therapist said I had suffered a set back. This did not matter to the first two appeal boards. The third time I took a statement from my doctor. I also believe the man who heard my testimony that day knew something about abusive situations. A few weeks later, I received a check. It included all my back pay. This took over a year.
I will never forget one of the hearing people tell me, "You have to be available for work. From what your saying, you can't go back to work yet. You're too traumatized." Pure sarcasm. Damn, that pissed me off.
I was not able to go back to public work for three years. I could work at home. Setting up websites. Helping friends with ebay. I could not make myself feel safe enough to leave my house and go out to work.
I wrote letters to the unemployment board. I told them I thought they needed to change the rulings for reasons to quit your job. I tried to impress upon them, whether the reason is physical or mental, they are forcing people to stay in an unsafe environment to provide for their families.
I believe we should write and/or email the unemployment offices in our states, as well as members of congress. We must bring to their attention that violence of any kind in the work place should not have to be tolerated..

Please visit the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence www.ncadv.org
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